I’m Not Convinced It’s ADHD - Here’s Why

I’m not a doctor.
But I am someone who’s sat with their own emotional experiences with children and parents long enough to start noticing patterns in the world around me.
And I just can’t ignore this anymore.

We’re in a time where ADHD is being talked about everywhere, and that’s good. Awareness matters.
But I’ve started to wonder… are we always looking at the full picture?

Because what if some of this “ADHD” we’re seeing, especially in kids, teens, and even exhausted adults, isn’t a disorder at all?
What if it’s emotional pain, being passed down through the generations, in disguise?

The Need to Stay Busy

Today’s children are overstimulated, multitasking, scrolling, switching, zoning out, and bouncing around at a hundred miles an hour.
Many adults are, too.
It looks like hyperactivity.
It looks like distraction.
It looks like a short attention span.

But what if it’s actually… emotional avoidance?

Generations of Emotional Shutdown

Think back to how we were raised.
How our parents were raised.
And theirs. And theirs before them and so on..

Most of us were not taught to feel.
We were taught to “pull ourselves together,” “keep it together,” “not make a fuss.”
Crying was weakness. Anger was bad. Sadness was uncomfortable. Be good and quiet at all costs was the message.

So we learned to suppress.

But suppressed emotion doesn’t vanish. It waits. It actually gets louder and stronger..
And it gets passed down, subtly, silently, from parent to child, again and again.

The Nervous System Doesn’t Forget

When a child learns that emotions aren’t welcome, their nervous system adapts.
They find ways to stay “up” so they don’t fall into the feelings. The go, go, go mentaility kicks in and our brain feels responsive and active.

Scrolling. Constant talking. Overthinking. Picking fights. Shutting down. Being “on.”
All. the. time. Basically, it’s learnt it’s not safe to be still.

Eventually, it becomes so normal that it doesn’t look like trauma, it looks like a personality. Or a diagnosis.

So, what looks like ADHD…
Could actually be a nervous system that’s exhausted from holding in generations of grief, pain, and fear.

Trauma Often Looks Like Restlessness

Unprocessed pain doesn’t sit quietly in the background.
It creates mental chaos.
It makes it hard to sit still, to focus, to slow down.
It mimics the symptoms of ADHD.
But at the root? It’s emotional avoidance.

Because if we slow down, if we get quiet, those old feelings start to rise.
And many of us were never taught what to do with them.

The Invitation

So here’s my invitation to you, whether you're a parent, a practitioner, or simply a human:
Before rushing to label it, ask…
💭 What might this behaviour be trying to protect me (or my child) from feeling?

Because not every busy brain is broken.
Some are just full of unfelt feelings.

Sometimes the answer isn’t more structure, stimulation or distraction..
It’s more softness.

More space to cry.
More room to breathe.
More courage to feel.

And to feel is to live. Ity is to breaak through the conditioning that has kept us mentally ill and write a new way of life for us and the generations after us.

If This Resonates...

You’re not alone. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it. And I guide others through it.

At Heavenly Parenting, we explore the hidden layers beneath behaviour and reconnect with the parts of us that were never allowed to feel.

Follow me @heavenlyparenting or book a session if you’re ready to unravel what might really be going on behind the busy-ness.

Because sometimes,
what looks like ADHD… is just pain asking to be felt, so it can change.